The data shows we want to end inequality. Here’s how to start …

ideas.ted.com

Rich and poor, left and right, we all agree the world should be more equal. Dan Ariely and Michael Norton have spent the past decade analyzing the data. Now, they tackle what to do next.

Picture three people splitting an 8-piece pizza. How should they divide it? The possibilities are endless, from the very unequitable — one person eats the whole pie — to the more equitable — say, each person gets two pieces and two get one more each. How resources should be divided invokes our fundamental senses of fairness, justice and equity, and this is true whether we are dividing a pizza pie or a slightly larger pie — say, the entire wealth of the United States of America.

Debates about income and wealth inequality dominate current political discourse not only in the United States — with corporations like McDonald’s  and Walmart voluntarily raising their minimum wages — but around the…

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Tinder: The Social Experiment

Is this really what life has come down to?

Call me old-fashioned, but I like to think I find someone to date based on more than a few bad front seat selfies.  Yet if the picture isn’t at least halfway decent, I’m not going to waste the time even swiping right.  I can’t speak for the guys, but I will say the dudes on there are pretty sketch. I’m very open minded and try to give everyone a fair chance – but I’m not looking to get murdered and dumped in a ditch. Just saying.

God forbid you actually do match with someone.  The awkwardness that follows is enough to make anyone go buy 5 cats and a moo-moo.  No one REALLY cares how your day is going, let alone .  Let’s come up with some better ice breakers?  I for one, will put any of the suggestions that are prompted, just to see the reaction.  I mean, why not? It’s not like I’ll ever actually see these people.

It amazes me that even when I specifically put in my profile that I am not looking to hook up, that’s the first thing a guy  might ask.  Like really?  Does that actually work for you?  I’m just going to invite you over and let you under my sheets?  Sorry, but I at least need a drink first….maybe a few if that’s truly all you have to offer. And don’t expect me to shave my legs.

Of course, there are the guys asking marriage questions right off the bat! I can’t decide which is worse if I’m being honest. At least suffer through the awkward small talk before you ask me what my 5-year plan is, how many kids I want, and my favorite…how often I plan to have sex with my husband. Which is exactly when my feminist side comes out, I’m not here to ‘serve’ anyone.  IF I ever get married, we will decide if we even want children, and how we can help each other!

Many times, I’ve wondered if there are just a bunch of old guys with beards sitting around reading everything sent on tinder.   Just taking notes at how our society is going downhill at an exceptional speed. Or possibly it’s some Divergent-like experiment where only the strong make it out alive?? We may never know!

Keep swiping!

Always,

Meg

Loving the Broken Girl

Broken.  That is how I feel when a relationship begins to get serious.  I have gone through years of counseling and self-improvement, but some things will always be a part of me. I’m not that girl in a relationship that has her shit together, or is “whole”.  I know I have a lot to work on, but so does everyone else.  It’s important that we are patient with each other, and if you believe it’s right…don’t give up.

I have come up with a handful of things that are definitely important in truly any relationship, but are absolutely essential to anyone who has either gone through a difficult childhood, or bad relationships.

1. Be Patient.  I cannot say this enough.  She may think she is over something that happened in the past, but if you start taking the same actions that someone else leading up to them hurting her, she will react.  She really has no control over this.  Her mind is just trying to protect her.

2. Call Her. We live in an age where texting is the norm.  99% of the time it is just fine. But if you haven’t been able to spend time together, or your texting is just becoming superficial, pick up the phone to reconnect with her.  I promise it will make a difference.  It will also show her that giving her 10 minutes of your time is more important than whatever TV show is on or the video game you are playing.

3. Don’t make false promises. This will tie in with my point listed below, but i wanted to elaborate on each a little differently.  So many of the guys I’ve dated start talking about a possible future as early as a month in..This is not acceptable.  Unless you legitimately plan to propose within the first 6 months, don’t give her those ideas.  I promise you she is already fighting those thoughts on her own.  We all have that fantasy of meeting someone and essentially falling in love at first sight.  The reality is that it does not happen like this.

4. Be someone she can count on. If you can’t, then don’t waste her time.  She will give her all for you, for your good days and bad.  She just needs the same thing in return.  I’m not saying she needs a grand gesture, but if she’s had a bad day, take the time to listen to her, don’t just jump into your own issues.  Any relationship is about give & take, sometimes more giving than taking.

5. Make Plans. If every weekend you wait until Friday or Saturday to just ask what she has going on, she will most likely have plans already.  Or she will have waited & possibly blown off her friends in hopes that you will call and invite her to do something.  Don’t get me wrong, I am all for an evening on the couch with Netflix, but let her know that’s what you WANT.  Not just something you are doing because nothing else better to do came along.

6. Never, Ever, use her past against her. This seems pretty obvious, right? Apparently it isn’t.  We do not choose our parents, siblings, schools.  Only to a small extent can we choose how we react to situations we have been placed in. As much as we have healed and overcome, it will always find a way into our daily life.  In the little choices we make or the small things we pick up on.

I look forward to any thoughts or additions you all might have!!

Always,

Meg

Incident, Baltimore 2015

radical eyes for equity

“And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard.”
Martin Luther King Jr., “The Other America” 14 March 1968

“We know of course there’s really no such thing as the ‘voiceless’. There are only the deliberately silenced, or the preferably unheard.”
Arundhati Roy, “Peace and the new corporate liberation theology,” The 2004 Sydney Peace Prize Lecture

“The law is meant to be my servant and not my master, still less my torturer and my murderer.”
James Baldwin, “A Report from Occupied Territory,”The Nation 11 July 1966.

Countee Cullen’s “Incident” is a powerful and disturbing confrontation of racism as well as the enduring impact of racial slurs: “And so I smiled, but he poked out/His tongue, and called me, ‘Nigger.’/…That’s all that I remember.”

In the last days of April 2015, Cullen’s Baltimore has once again answered a haunting question about another city, “Harlem” by…

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Community Pool

The Daily Post

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To help us make the Community Pool a productive space for discussion, here are some tips you might find useful:

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  • While you’re not required to, we encourage everyone who requests feedback to also reply to at least one or two other bloggers who need some help. Spread the love!
  • The Community Pool…

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Being Poor

Whatever

Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.

Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.

Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they’re what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there’s not an $800 car in America that’s worth a damn.

Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.

Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends’ houses but never has friends over to yours.

Being poor is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won’t hear you say “I get free lunch” when you get to the cashier.

Being poor is living next to the freeway.

Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching…

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Change of Pace

I want to keep this blog a mix of the ups and downs…So it’s about time for some happy things to be posted!! I had the opportunity last weekend to just take some time for myself.  I slept in, ran some errands, and went to my favorite place – Home Depot! 🙂

Saturday I had the opportunity to go to the Vintage Market Days that were in town.  Can I just say..AWESOME! These events offer such a wonderful opportunity to connect with and get to know some amazing people in the community.  While many vendors were out of town, I was inspired by many women who simply collect items in their spare time and try to help others out.  I found some amazing pieces at great prices, simply because they knew what it was like to decorate on a budget! If you get the chance to go to this, or anything similar, I highly recommend it.  It only cost $5 to get in and there were some steals!!

This first project is one I had pondered for a while.  This actually used to be a chess/checkers/backgammon table.  Someone got it for me as a gift many years ago.  I had been using it as a side table – because I didn’t want to just get rid of it, but I had no use for it anymore. I decided to make an indoor garden with it.  This was so easy.  Painting took the longest, because I wanted it to look neutral, but not too black & white.  I let a little of the tan show through to give it the ‘worn’ look. I didn’t find a liner that I wanted.  I ended up just taping down a plastic bag.  I feel that if this would have just been a wooden box, I wouldn’t even need one, but since it had green felt I wanted to be safe.  I then put a layer of rock and then soil.  I chose the lava rock, because I liked the color  and it is light ( I live on the third floor of my apartment building ).  I purchased the soil specifically for cacti, but I believe I could have used any. Home Depot also has a little starter pallet of succulents, I got this and a few individual plants and worked them in together.  So far it is doing great!!

Great finds

This second one began as a charred piece of wood. literally the top left side of it was burned – I hadn’t realized this when I picked it up.  I got it for $4 at the Vintage Market. It needed a good cleaning, just a cloth & warm water did the trick! I then painted a white primer and then used an ‘eggshell’ white.  I purchased a bag of clothespins from Michael’s for $3.  And hot-glued some jute to the back of it.  I gave this to my mother for her birthday present.  It will go perfectly in her kitchen for pictures or just little honey-do lists, etc. I really wanted to keep it for myself! hehe

Moms gift

This third project may have been the easiest out of all of them.  A few weeks ago I made dinner and started to throw away the cans from my vegetables.  Then it occurred to me that hey – I may be able to use these one day for something! So i took some white spray paint to them…this did not turn out well AT ALL! the paint would not stick to the can and just kept running off.  So after cleaning up that mess I just decided to paint them with the same paint I used above, with a brush and it worked much better! I continued with my succulent obsession and put a layer of rock at the bottom, then dirt and my plant.  Just remember to be careful when re-potting the succulents, they are VERY delicate! 🙂

Succulents. tin can

Feel free to comment if I left out any steps that you may wonder about!! It’s spring – get out and do something! 🙂 🙂

Always,

Meg

Thursday Pick-Me-UP

I just thought I would share a post.  If you aren’t subscribed to Elephant Journal, I highly recommend checking them out! I came across them about a week ago, and immediately subscribed.  Everyday I get an email that I’m actually looking forward to! 🙂

Below is a link to just some quotes that they have.  I wanted to share!

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/04/life-changing-inspirational-quotes-infographic/?utm_source=All&utm_campaign=Daily+Moment+of+Awake+in+the+Inbox+of+Your+Mind&utm_medium=email

Happy Thursday!!

Always,

Meg