Day 1: Hello World!!

Okay, so we just started Blogging 101. I will do my best to keep up! Here is our first day’s assignment!

Writing has always been important to me.  For as long as I can remember, I have kept a journal as a way to kind of walk through any struggles or decisions.  Something about seeing the words out in front of you in black & white makes them seem much more simple.

I have struggled with depression for many, many years and I would like to use my blog to connect with others going through the same struggle.  If I can just reach one person and show them that they are not alone, I will be happy.  I have not opened up to many close to me about my struggles.  I’ve found that most do not understand, and do not even try.  In my free time, I love to be a little crafty.  I post those (good and bad) results on my blog as well & have recently started an Etsy store to try to sell a few items for extra cash.  I am going to school for psychology and I work full time.  So I do not get to craft as much as I would like!

My blog will mostly be centered around my struggle with depression and PTSD, but I will be including the good, bad, and everything in between.

My end goal is to raise awareness and to help create a community that is supporting and helpful for anyone going through the same things.

Always,

Meg

Defeating Your Monsters

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I have to believe that this monster can be defeated.  Without that belief, without that hope, I have nothing.

Empathy…the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. To feel the pain someone close to you is feeling, to feel their excitement, fear, anger, shame, their sorrow.  To experience these feelings as if they were your own. The desire to just not feel anything, to be numb.

These days it seems as though I have two settings.  I either feel too much, or I feel nothing at all.  One moment I am praying to feel something…To feel anything, positive or negative, just to feel alive.  When my body feels as though it is not my own, when the numbing depression sets in, when I have no desire to even breathe.  All I ask for is to feel a tiny spark, something to live for.  Other days I feel everything.  I feel the excitement from a friend who received good news.  I feel the pain of a stranger being left out…

My emotions are constantly changing based on those near to me.  Going from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows at the drop of a hat. Each day is a roller coaster – exhausting, and unpredictable. Yet the one thing that keeps me going is the hope that one day things might improve.  One day my life will be my own.  One day I will beat this.