It’s not you, it’s me.

I’m beginning to realize that a lot of the time I perceive issues in my relationship, it really is just something to do with me or an issue I’m dealing with. I am just the type to over analyze every little thing and I like to just get to the bottom of an issue so that it can be fixed.

I struggled this weekend, and I kept asking myself if my relationship is right. To be honest nothing at all had changed. My guy is still being the same person he was a year ago, we have grown and are stronger, but he definitely still makes an effort to show his love and everything. We are planning to buy a house, and we have been saving up for a wedding.  So why do I suddenly freak out thinking that maybe we shouldn’t be together?? I have started asking myself a question whenever these thoughts start to creep in – Is it him or is it me? Is he REALLY doing anything different or hurtful? Or am I just looking for a reason to fight, or am I just being insecure and reading too much into what he says or does?

If you are anything like me we just have to take a step back and breathe! I have to accept the fact that he does love me and he wants to be with me. He actively tries to better himself and wants me to be happy. Just like I do for him.

It has taken me so long to get to this point in life, where I can trust someone and depend on them. I just always expect something to go wrong. Unfortunately, it comes from being in abusive relationships, or dating narcissistic guys in the past who were just looking to add another notch to their headboard. Who knew it would be so hard to just relax and be happy? 🙂


2016 Recap

How are we a week in to the new year already?? Is it just me or does time just seem to fly by with no regard for the rest of us?? 🙂

I am so excited for what this year might hold! After taking a semester off from school to move and get settled back in Arkansas, I will be starting classes again this month. Which, sadly means less blogging but I am determined to writ two posts per month. So please bear with me! 2016 brought so many changes in my life, and I will expand on many of those things as well as anything new!  Continue reading



Happy Thanksgiving Y’all!

While many of us love the food we will have today and possibly the company of friends and family, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the changes that have taken place in the past year. Some were great, others were not…. but I know deep down we all have so much to be thankful for.

Not to be cliche, but I really am thankful to have a warm home and food on my table. On days like today I cannot help but feel for those who are not as lucky. Those struggling with hunger and homelessness. I will stop myself before I get on my soap box, as I could start an entire blog devoted to helping end each of those!!  But I implore you this season, and through the entire year, to reach out to those who are less fortunate than you. They are victims of circumstance and deserve a warm smile and a helping hand any time we can offer it.

As much as my family drives me crazy, and they are not the most upstanding people, I am thankful for each of them. For even in their struggles I have learned from their mistakes and I have discovered how to love and forgive those who do not ask for it.

I am thankful for my fur babies! We do not know unconditional love until we have been loved by a dog. To live each moment to its fullest, to explore and love with all you have is what this life is truly about! My pups have pulled me out of the darkest depression, teaching me to forget and forgive, to find a new adventure live in the moment.

I hope each of you has a wonderful Thanksgiving, stay safe!



Well…Now What?


The 2016 Presidential elections are finally over. While some Americans are rejoicing, many of us are struggling to accept the reality that Trump will be the 45th POTUS. I can not express my disappointment enough, and I did temporarily give into the fear that comes along with this realization. But this fear and borderline depression gave way to the realization that this is not the time to give up.

Now that the news has sunk in and I have had time to analyze the situation I am becoming very inspired. It is easy to blame the DNC for what happened, stating that Bernie would have won in a landslide, and I wish we would have had the chance to see if that were true. We can blame the racists, the bigots, the big money, the deplorables,but blaming them will not get us anywhere.  We cannot dwell on the past. What’s done is done.

It is time for us to stand our ground. We must stand up for our rights and the rights of minorities. We cannot let this country give in to the hatred that seeps from Trump’s campaign.

Now is the time to rise up. We must protect what many before us have given their lives to achieve. We must fight for equality. Equal rights. Equal responsibility. Equal respect.


Last month I had what I can only describe as a “mental health crisis”. It had been years since I had had an incident that severe. It came on suddenly and I still have no idea what triggered it. One minute I was having a conversation with a co-worker and the next I had to run to my office because I just became so angry and began crying…

I felt as though my skin was just crawling, like something evil was pulsing through my veins. I could barely see straight, let alone get a grasp on my thoughts. My hands were shaking, I felt as though I could just explode at any second.

I needed to cut. I needed to cry. I needed to scream. To run away. But how do you escape your own mind??