Farewell 2015! It’s been a helluva ride, but I’m excited to put this year behind me and start fresh!
In the past year I have had the chance to really put time into soul-searching and finding direction in my life. While I still have a long way to go, I feel that I am on the right track! I have developed a better plan for finishing my undergrad, and I have a few potential graduate schools I would love to get accepted to! This past summer I began reaching out to become more involved in my community. Unfortunately this was a rough start – as many organizations in the area are short staffed and it’s difficult to get follow through. But I stayed on track and have joined a young professional group with plans to join their “Get Out and Vote” committee and possibly another one, a steering committee for the United Way, and I was also asked to join the board for Mental Health America in Northwest Arkansas. This last one was a surprise! I had originally reached out to the board president when I thought I’d be moving to that area in October. However even though I don’t plan to move until this coming summer, they still want me to be a part! I’m so excited for these opportunities to network, to make connections that could possibly last a lifetime, and to make a difference in the communities that I love!
As I’m typing this, I feel as though my next item could be seen as trivial by most, but I feel it is worth sharing. This past summer I met a man who has made a tremendous difference in my life. We met by chance, we became friends for a few months each thinking the other wasn’t interested. One day the truth came out, and we began dating, and things just fell into place after that. We both were “gun-shy” about relationships, we had vowed to just “date around” for a while because we wanted the end result to be a serious relationship. We were both in a place that if we did get into a relationship it would be working towards a future, towards marriage and building a life together. Not just hanging out, or just being in a relationship to avoid being alone or single. I feel that by having this mindset we were able to be completely honest, and really show our true selves. We don’t hide all the bad qualities, and we are able to really converse and discuss the big issues in our lives. We are open about our goals for the future, what we are willing to compromise on and things that we feel that we can’t. I’m not here to write that everything is perfect, that we never disagree – because I don’t believe that is what makes a real relationship. We have our disagreements (we have yet to have a BIG fight), we have learned to compromise, and we both agree that a true long term relationship will take daily effort and it is a journey not a sprint! I could go on and on about this, but I will save it for another post!
While 2015 did hold a lot of positive events and change, it was also a time of great transition. As I have mentioned before, my family isn’t always the greatest. Unfortunately my grandfather passed away just before Christmas. While I feel blessed to have had all of my grandparents for the whole 28 years of my life, it still feels like my time with him was not enough. Through his passing, however, I did reconnect with family. This has been a true blessing, to be able to be a part of a group who truly loves and cares about each other.
One of the biggest struggles I faced this year is learning to let go. (Cue Frozen theme song here.) I feel that I have given a solid effort this year for my father to be a part of my life, and it has gotten me nowhere. While I don’t agree with many of his life choice, I still would love to have my dad, someone I can call up and go to dinner with, who I know will have my back. But I’m learning that this just is not going to happen. I have tried to reach out to see what I did wrong, what I did that makes him not want me, but he just ignores the texts and calls. He texts my brother or sister things to pass on to me. I went to his home for Christmas Eve with my siblings and their families and he barely spoke 2 words TO me. He would talk to people around me, we all had great conversation. But he didn’t once say hi, ask me how my life is, I had to force him to hug me good-bye when I left. I felt as though I was invisible to him. Again, I’ll post more on this subject in the near future, as this post is getting really long…
The last few months have really shown me that I need to focus on my goals and designate time each day to them. I have failed to post consistently to my blog, I have lost touch with great friends and family, and I have put on quite a bit of weight. I joined a gym this week and have created a list of great topics to write about, so hopefully a few of these things will change, and while I am not one for making resolutions every year, I do want to make a list of goals for 2016 and really work to keep them!