As much as I struggle to be present and be happy, there is always something pulling me down. A weight on my heart that I cannot quite shake. The good is always shadowed by the fear of the inevitable. Fear of the darkness creeping through and taking hold. Avoiding conversations that may trigger this, or constantly monitoring thoughts, striving to remain positive can be overwhelming. But it is the small glimpse of light that keeps me going. When I can break free and just ‘be’. To just take in the experiences, to breathe, it doesn’t make the struggles worth it, but it shows me why I keep going. Why I keep fighting.